We wish to extend our condolences to you on the death of your beloved child. We hope this information will be helpful for you and your family throughout the many transitions that lie ahead. Please know that there’s no wrong way to grieve. Every loss, every person, and every day is different. Many great resources and support groups exist that can help immensely through your grief journey, so don’t give up if you find some aren’t right for you. Our thoughts are with you.
Grief Reactions
You may be in shock and feel numb at first, but the pain of loss can eventually hit you hard. It may seem unbearable. Grief reactions tend to soften over time, but everyone’s timeline is different. The intensity can also fluctuate over many months or years, especially around triggers such as holidays and anniversaries. Reactions may include Anger, Shock & Denial, Numbness, Confusion, Sadness, Guilt, Hopelessness, Anxiety, Fear, PTSD
Avoid making major life changes for the first 6 months if possible
Normal Physical Symptoms of Grief: These symptoms tend to improve over time, but can be exacerbated by anniversaries and holidays. They include change in appetite, low energy level or fatigue, brain fog, irritability, mood swings, stomach upset, headaches, sleep disturbance.
Ways to Cope
- Express your feelings (talking, journaling, support groups)
- Forgive yourself. If guilt arises, talk to yourself as you would a close friend.
- Look after your own health. Eat/drink well and exercise/walk
- Arts & Crafts: Find therapeutic projects to ease your mind or to honor your loved one
- Photography projects: Collages, memorabilia, slideshows, videos
Accepting Support: Don’t feel you are burdening others. People don’t know what to do or say, and welcome the opportunity to feel helpful. But be honest about your needs, even if you need some space.
Warning: be careful when driving or operating heavy machinery. Strive to find ways to control your grief outbreaks and dedicate times to grieve. Try Soft Belly Breathing or Expressive Meditation
Therapeutic Support
Support groups: There are many grief support groups across the world, virtual and in-person: some for specific loss. The Compassionate Friends is a key resource for child loss.
Grief Counselors / Therapists: There are sites to help find the right one for your needs like psychologytoday.com.
Self-Help
Books / Websites / Podcasts: Helpful in finding ways to cope and honor loved ones that work for you. Also great for reminders that you’re not alone, even when you’re not wanting or able to be with others.
Funeral / Memorial
If you want to have a memorial or funeral, there will be many decisions that family/friends can help with. It can also be good to consult websites such as JoinCake.com for everything from memorial services to help with expenses.
Practical Considerations
Though it may feel like your world has ended, the world around you keeps spinning.
- Practical, legal, and financial checklist
- Returning to work
- Challenges specific to type of loss
“Sometimes it’s okay that the only thing you did today was breathe.” — Yumi Sakugawa
Suicidal Thoughts? USA: 1-800-273-8255 or text HOME to 741741